Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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