It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
