Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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