I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
that is very illegal...i love you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
