PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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