I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
