Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
