yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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