Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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