It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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