i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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