your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
