Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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