nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
