My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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