So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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