I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I want a musical about memes.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
