More tranny stories later!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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