This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
