Small penises have feelings too.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
