This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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