Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
