Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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