Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
