I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
