I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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