honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
