Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
