Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
