so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
