Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dicks are not precious.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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