I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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