Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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