There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
