it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
