both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
