i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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