Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
