Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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