I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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