I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
