If i come over, it means nothing
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
