He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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