he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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