you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
