theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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