What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
