Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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