So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
