So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
