it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
