dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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