Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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